UPDATE

No pictures for this post.
It has been a long time since I have really posted anything - like almost 2 1/2 months.
Things have been a little hectic and overwhelming around here, and I wanted to give myself enough time before I posted.
In November on my birthday, Joe and I found out that we had a positive pregnancy test - yay! We were so happy, and finally the Lord had answered our prayers and allowed us to expand our family. We were about 4 weeks along at this time. It has been very difficult for Joe and I to get pregant, which was such a hard concept for us because Molly was a surprise gift and blessing to us when we got married.
About a week from us finding that we were pregnant, I started to bleed, and had some tests done, and come to find out that my hormone levels were too low to sustain the pregnancy and we lost the baby. That was about at 5 weeks.
It has been pretty hard, on both myself and Joe, but through the last month or so especially, the Lord has given me a peace, and I have let go some of the anger that I had. Does my heart still hurt? Absolutely, BUT I know and I believe and I rest and put my faith in MY Lord and Savior and that His plan is so much better than ANYTHING that I could imagine.
I always said to God after seeing people have miscarraiges, that I could never have that happen to me, because I just didn't think that I was strong enough of a person to deal with it. Funny how things turn out. But God has shown me, and thank heavens I don't have to rely on myself or be strong in myself. That the Lord is strong for me and I can lean on Him and depend on Him for all things.
My husband, Joe, has been a wonderful pillar of strength for me and has been so patient with my emotional mess and even as he is saddened for our loss, has supported me more than I really know. I believe that this has strengthened our marraige and has brought us closer together as well as closer to the Lord together.
I am one to talk. It takes a lot for me to listen. I have to actually actively listen, because I am so prone to just talk - to people or to God. I found that I was doing a lot of "talking" and not so much listening to God during this whole time. I was asking the Lord to show me and reveal Himself and His will to me, but I was so busy speaking that I wasn't hearing anything.
Joe gave me a challenge. He challenged me to be still and silent in the Lord and wait for the Lord to reveal to me what He wanted me to read in His Word. That was such a new concept to me because I always felt like I needed to search for a magic passage in the Bible or read a devotional to hear what the Lord wanted to tell me. But I took the challenge, and wow... It has changed my perspective on how to listen to God - it is not easy to do so all the time, because I catch myself speaking to much, but it is funny that when you just listen and open your heart, God will reveal Himself to you.
I also had to stop asking for the big picture. I am so focused on the big picture, that the little things that were happening or I needed were being missed. And the funny thing is, if you allow God to take control of the little things in life, the bigger peices just fit together so much easier.
Lord, show me to be content with what I have TODAY and not let me worry about what is in store for tomorrow or the next week or next year. Show me what You want me to learn TODAY, at this moment.
"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus"
I Thessalonians 5:18